Thursday, 13 July 2017 13:22

Positive Discipline: What to do When a Child Misbehaves

Ever been in a state where your child acts up really bad and you’re like “Oh my God! What do I do? Of course!

If you are a parent, you will know that as a child grows, the possibility that that child will misbehave goes up by a thousand per cent and in any way. A child may ignore an instruction you have given ten times. A child can choose to throw an epic tantrum in public, leaving you flustered as other parents judge you with dagger-eyes . In the negative spotlight, you can find yourself at a loss how to respond. But no matter how fragile your ego is, your child's mind, confidence and sense of self is more fragile; so you have to respond "right". One careless word in the heat of the moment can do a lot of damage to last a long time. This is where positive dicipline comes in. How do you go about it? 

  • The first step is managing problem behaviour

    When a child 'misbehaves' frequently, it is best to identify the specific behaviour tand it's trigger. You have to think about what usually comes before it and what comes after it. The Child Mind Institute on Managing problem behaviour at home explained that there might be a reason (could be emotional factors or environmental factors) why the child reigns on that behavior, so it has to be considered and these factors have to be managed. Once you identify the trigger, you may need to modify the child's environment; it could be that when it is homework time, your kids are still distracted by video games and toys. To manage this, establish an organized area for the kids to do their homework, provide snacks and make sure you give breaks. Another way to manage this is to also get better cooperation with your kids, sit down with them and talk to them and if possible, clear out any misunderstandings. Let your kids also have a choice, let them also have a say in what they have to do. For instance, asking them questions like – “Do you want to take lunch after homework or before?” it encourages them to be self-regulating.

  • Avoiding  forms of discipline that could mar your Child’s behaviour

    There are many ways of disciplining your child, but you have to be careful of the way you handle it. Avoid hitting, giving hard punishments, and yelling at them; these are negative ways of disciplining a child and sometimes it can damage that child’s behaviour. Children can do things to that get one frustrated, angry, and veryconfused, but that is why you are the adult. You cannot resort to a state of learned helplessness anslash out at your children. If you find yourself getting out of control and about to erupt, just take a time-out and walk away for a while. Yes, adults need time-outs too.  The author of Positive Discipline Series, Dr. Jane Nelson, opined that positive discipline is designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities , and it also teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults.

  • If you want to discipline your child the right way, discipline yourself firsIf you want to discipline your child the right way, discipline yourself first. How do you manage your temper? You need to start being conscious of your reactions to the negative behaviour(s) exhibited by your child. Control your emotions and most importantly your utterance. Parents' reactions to their ward’s waywardness can further traumatize the child and not achieve the corrections to pass . Remember, you need to protect your child’s psychology, emotions, and his/her physical growth even as you discipline. Positive disicpline is the one that is done without damage.
  • Another thing is to try to understand the meaning of the behaviour that the child showed. Sometimes children want to behave very well but they end up making mistakes. If this is the case, bring that child closer and talk to him, let him know that what he has done is wrong and teach him good actions that he should have, and always give attention because children sometimes react when they need attention. Howevevr, do not bribe them, spend quality time with them instead.
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