Wednesday, 13 September 2017 14:55

Why not Mine; He Plays too Much I'm Afraid!

Debo has been withdrawn lately from the family, he’s depressed about having to repeat a class’’
“Shade plays too much, I’m afraid it’s getting out of hand, her teacher already envisages the danger of her not coming top this term.’’
Do you have a Child who failed this term and is made to repeat a class? Or perhaps a child who prefers to choose play over school work?
As Parents, knowing that your child isn’t doing well academically is enough to drive you nuts, because not only does it affect the child, it affects you as a parent too. You become bothered about your Childs future and how he might not be able to fit and relate properly with his peers and the society to an extent.
For a child who plays too much, you might have sort out ways to help set her on the right path. Some parents might even result to deprivation technique as well as flogging due to frustration. You really can’t phantom why the child will remain oblivion towards educational success especially at a tender age. Trust me; I know how frustrating that can be.
At an early stage of childhood, parents are tricked into believing every child is the same, ‘’If Chika’s son can do it, why not mine?’’ The temptation to compare kids especially as regards academics is no news, children are talked into most a times unhealthy competitions by their parents. Most parents try to shove blurred motivation down their kids throat, and this is not nice.
The bitter truth is that kids easily get motivated , but not in the way we think its best. Although I must confess that its annoying knowing that our kids will pick friends, video games or gadgets over what we know they really need (studying).
I want you to look it up from this angle, use yourself as a yardstick…as an adult, you know it’s best to have enough rest, eat right and work out, but do we really follow this to the latter! Let your child charge up to knowing the true importance of doing well on his own, not that he’s been forced. Let it be clear to a child’s understanding, although some external factors might impede this process (domestic violence, drug abuse, mental/physical illness etc.)
For some kids, proper ratiocination isn't developed until adolescence , and this can be annoying to a parent who has all kids smart from toddler age, and now this kid who seems to be lagging behind. It’s hard to not say that they are bad apples, dummies or lazy.
Here are some ways to help deal;
Effective Communication- No child likes isolation, and if repeating a class could trigger it, then it even worse. Parents learn to build a connection with your child especially at this phase. Let the child know that failing doesn’t mean the end. Keep up with the encouragement and learn to wear a smile even sometimes when you know it does not deserve. If your child cannot confide in you, who then?
Family Crises- Are there any issues in the home you might feel it’s beginning to tell on your child? Or perhaps you don’t know it weighs the child down! Children are easily depressed with sad happenings around them. Make sure the home is first conducive to learn, before considering the school. Like we know…”charity begins in the home”.
Health Problems- Is your child unreasonable slow in learning/grasp? I will suggest you get your child checked at the hospital. Some of these unknown health issues might be Uncontrolled Asthma, Uncorrected Vision Problems, Unaddressed Hearing Problems, Dental Pain, Persistent Hunger, Lack of Sleep, Effects of Lead Exposure….to mention a few. I’m sure you know before now that health issue impedes the learning process. So get your child checked today!
Teacher Relationship- Most parents don’t even know how their child’s classroom look like, talk more of knowing the teacher. Some teachers have in some cases been closer to the children than some parents actually are. I understand that as parents, we can be busy with work in order to make money for the family. No matter how busy schedules come, the more reason you should learn to establish a relationship with your child’s teacher. So that whatever happens in school can be followed up in the home. Learn to enquire your child’s performance and sort out ways to better it.  
Inculcate Life Balance- Even as adults, we are sometimes tempted to concentrate more on pixels rather than the big picture, talk more of a child. Rather than go crazy about your child’s carelessness towards academics, help the child learn to balance life properly. Let the child map out a time for play and thus draw the line amidst serious work.
Stop Futurizing- In as much as a child consistently remains adamant to improve, leave calling out his future. Stop thinking of a downfall or worrying that he might never get matured and perhaps what he will become in life as a result of his behavioral pattern. Instead figure out ways to manage his positive side in ways they could help better the negative.
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